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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:44:28 GMT -5
George B. Roden is suing the state of Texas for $200 million because the state mental hospital, where he is confined, will not allow him to take karate lessons. Roden explained that he needed to learn karate “because as patients and convicts we are denied the use of guns to protect ourselves.” (Reuters) ...If you think we’re gonna let you do that, you’re crazy.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:45:39 GMT -5
The government-run Canada Employment Centre in Toronto sent a 17-year-old high school girl to a job opening at a local spa. She was offered the position, but unfortunately the position was on her back: they wanted her as a prostitute. Charges are expected to be filed, according to the police’s “Morality Squad”. (Reuters) ...That must have been one gruelling interview.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:47:50 GMT -5
Bruce Hetrick, 36, a Delta Airlines customer service agent, and Ronald Hamilton, 32, a Delta mechanic, apparently took a quick spin around the Tucson, Ariz., airport. The most accessible vehicle was a 737 jetliner. A police car chased them down at the rev-up area and arrested them for theft. Hamilton was also charged with driving an aircraft under the influence. (AP) ...Maybe they can apply at Northwest.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:49:13 GMT -5
The Oregon Ridge Nature Center in Cockeysville, Md., held a seminar last weekend on the use of insects in food. Adrienne van den Beemt, a counselor at the center, said that 80 percent of the world’s population eats insects. The taste? “Some say mealworms taste like creamy shrimp,” she said. (AP) ...But how many of the 80 percent do it on purpose?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:50:52 GMT -5
Robbers in Dublin, Ireland, have found a new way to get carjack victims out of their vehicles quickly: they toss a live rat in through the sunroof. The victims, typically women, usually leave the door open — great for entry by the robbers, who drive off with the car and the weapon. A police spokesman said victims should stay in their cars and “take their chances” with the rats. (Reuters) ...It would never work in New York: the rats are too big to fit through sun roofs.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:58:53 GMT -5
The Rev. John K. Wibley, a fundamentalist preacher at the First Assembly of God Church in Worcester, Mass., preached against the evils of alcohol. He told his parish he was “enticed” into a local casino last week. He said he wasn’t there to gamble, but spent his time walking around, looking at the shops and restaurants. And, apparently, soaking up several free drinks: on his way home, he was arrested for drunk driving. (AP) ...And no cavorting with hookers! Oh, never mind.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:00:36 GMT -5
Ray and Jay Nugent of Los Angeles are fraternal twins. Ray is a contractor, but Jay seems to have had trouble with the law: he’s wanted for bank robbery and attempted murder. Despite the FBI being aware that Jay has a twin brother, and believing Ray to be “a stable individual,” Ray was recently arrested and jailed by sheriff deputies serving a warrant — for Jay. Ray is suing for $13 million: $1 million for each day he spent in jail before convincing police they got the wrong man. (AP) ...Next time, arrest Ted.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:03:39 GMT -5
John Bobbitt, who became famous merely because his wife cut him down to size by slicing off his penis and tossing it in the street, has sent his lawyer to the divorce court in an effort to regain custody of the knife. But the judge withheld his decision until ownership of the knife could be properly determined. Meanwhile, Bobbitt has agreed to play himself in an “adult” movie, where he will apparently show the world his interesting scar. (AP) ...Please! Ask the director to stop yelling “cut”!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:06:53 GMT -5
To promote the Napa, Calif., “Town and Country Fair,” 25 longhorn cattle were put on display in the center of town, whereupon they immediately started eating the landscaping. Efforts to coax them toward the fairgrounds turned into a stampede, knocking down stop signs and ramming into police cars that were trying to corral them. “I think we’re lucky no one got hurt,” a police lieutenant said. (AP) ...Mel Brooks did it better in “Blazing Saddles”.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:11:40 GMT -5
Tracy Chalcraft of Chatham, Ont., Canada, bought some walnuts from the market. Upon cracking one open, she didn’t find a nut, but a condom. Apparently, a nearby sex shop sells condoms in plastic nutshells, and someone tossed one into the supermarket’s bin as a joke. (Reuters) ...Heh heh: wait until she tries the melons!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:12:39 GMT -5
Thomas Krueger, running for a seat in Germany’s Bundestag (federal legislature), is plastering Berlin with campaign posters showing him wearing nothing but a slogan painted on his body: “An honest skin.” There is no word on how his opponent, a woman, plans to respond. (UPI) ...If you win that seat, please put a towel on it before you sit down.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:14:26 GMT -5
As an employee of Independence Professional Fireworks, Brian Kelly lived fireworks. He died fireworks, too: his will instructed that his body be cremated, and his ashes packed in a shell and shot into the sky. His was the grand finale shell at a convention of fireworks technicians last weekend in Pennsylvania, producing red and green stars above two silver comet tails. (AP) ...Of course, most men want to go that way.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:16:09 GMT -5
Visiting from the Caribbean, marathon runner Michael Alexander went for an evening jog in the San Fernando Valley, the massive suburban housing area of Los Angeles. Unfortunately, he neglected to write down the address of his sister, who he was staying with, or her telephone number. Police found him the next morning wandering in a park, just 1.5 miles from his sister’s house, still unable to figure out which house was hers. (AP) ...Tan with a picket fence. Sure, fella. Come along quietly, now.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:17:21 GMT -5
Faced with ridicule from the tabloid press that the idea was “BAA BARIC,” British Airways announced it would stop transporting live sheep from Australia for ritual slaughter in Saudi Arabia. A British MP, who happened to be on the flight, wrote a letter of protest to the airline after others on board reacted strongly to the loading of the sheep, which delayed the flight. (AP, Reuters) ...What do you mean they’re not for dinner in first class? I protest!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:19:01 GMT -5
She was two years old, alone, crying, and wandering around the departure area of the King Khaled International Airport in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Her parents couldn’t be found despite multiple announcements over the public address system. Without anything else to do, controllers inquired of departing flights: on one, a man jumped up when he realized that she was one of his six children. “You know that with such a number it’s easy to lose one of them in a crowded place like an airport and forget about them,” he said. (AP) ...Thankfully, the sheep made it aboard safely.
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