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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 10:12:31 GMT -5
The Appeal Court in Great Britain has been asked to review a murder conviction on the basis that the jury reached its verdict after a séance — which would mean they did not reach their verdict solely based on evidence presented in court, as required. It seems three of the jurors used a Ouija Board to contact the murder victim, who pointed his phantom finger at Stephen Young, 35, as the culprit. The 12-person jury went on to convict Young unanimously. (Reuters) ...Maybe we can get Daniel Webster for the defense.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 10:13:51 GMT -5
Having one of his regular massages in downtown Jakarta, Indonesia, Pradikto Suratno, 59, ended up having sex with his masseuse, a "Ms Wiwiek", 36. In the middle of the ...uh... act, Ms. Wiwiek became aware that Mr. Suratno wasn’t moving anymore — indeed, he had stopped breathing and was dead. She wriggled out from underneath him, and police were called. Officers confiscated the dead man’s clothing and the massage cream as “evidence”. The Jakarta Post ran a story on the matter, delicately headlined “Man Dies in the Saddle”. (Reuters) ...I wonder how she could tell he was dead, and not just being himself?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 10:15:54 GMT -5
Neil Davis, whose car rental firm in Yorkshire, England, is housed in a 12 x 8 foot office, recently received a water bill for 62 pounds (US$94) from Yorkshire Water. Sounds reasonable, except the office has no water connections, nor drains. When he called to complain, he was told the bill was for drainage of water that rained onto his roof. Are they kidding? he asked. “We are certainly not.” However, the disputed bill is on hold pending an investigation as to whether the rain drains down onto open land, or whether it’s going down a drain, which would allow the bill to be enforced. (Reuters) ...Wait until the BBC finds out that their TV signals are penetrating his walls, yet he isn’t paying for them.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 10:17:29 GMT -5
In early June, the Newsweek Poll surveyed Americans as to whom they consider “role models” for young people, based on “what you know about their character”. The Reverend Billy Graham “won”, with 64 percent agreeing he is a good to excellent role model. General Colin Powell was close behind with 60 percent. The top woman: Hillary Clinton (48 percent). Interestingly, President Clinton came in just behind Dan Quayle, with only 40 percent and 44 percent, respectively, agreeing they were good to excellent role models. (Newsweek) ...C’mon Dan, you can tell me: what’s your secret? I’ll let you sit in the Big Chair for a minute. Please?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 10:18:34 GMT -5
Anthony Dearinger, a preacher at the Independent Baptist Church in Hillsboro, Ill., demonstrated this spring how God will pitch the Devil into Hell on Judgment Day by picking up a 12-year-old boy from the pews where he was sitting with his parents and throwing him six feet. Dearinger has been convicted of child endangerment. (AP) ...Good thing the sermon wasn’t about crucifixion
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 10:19:51 GMT -5
The BBC paid Tony and Wendy Duffield of London 12,000 pounds (US$18,000) to have sex for a TV documentary. Easy, except for when you consider where the cameras were: she had a $23,000 camera fitted inside her vagina, he had a camera strapped to his penis. The footage, intended to capture the act of lovemaking from an ...uh... inside point of view, required 63 sessions of strenuous effort by the couple over a period of three weeks. (Reuters) ...Again? In that case, call in my stunt double.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 19:36:43 GMT -5
In an annual event, nudists in Texas are celebrating National Nude Week (week of July 3) by donating spare clothing to Texas charities. Linda Krabill, manager of the 700-member Live Oak Nudist Ranch, says nudism is the most “egalitarian form of recreation” in that “nudity is a great leveling experience. When a person isn’t wearing an Armani suit, you don’t know that he’s a surgeon.” (UPI) ...Have you ever met a surgeon who hasn’t wanted to advertise the fact? But then again, I’d rather see a nude surgeon than one in an Armani suit.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 19:39:18 GMT -5
Despite the well-known fact that alcohol consumption depresses sexual ability in men, alcohol has long been used by men as an aid to seduce women, apparently because it works. Finnish and Japanese researchers now think they know why: alcohol apparently causes women’s bodies to produce testosterone, the “male” sex hormone that is involved in female arousal. (Reuters) ...Finnish and Japanese researchers? (“You try hot sake, we’ll try the sauna. Whoever goes all the way first wins.”)
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 19:42:25 GMT -5
Akira Koike, a freelance film critic travelling in Manila, the Philippines, was arrested and charged with “slander-by-deed” when he objected to a $49 charge for extra baggage by slapping Northwest Airlines staff supervisor Tiam Beng. How does one get out of such a predicament? Koike got on his knees at Beng’s feet and begged forgiveness. Beng accepted his apologies and prosecutors ordered him set free. (Reuters) ...Awwww. Can’t we whack him with a rattan cane at least once?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 19:54:36 GMT -5
Terry Grice, 26, of Jackson County, Fla., celebrated a bout of depression by building a wooden rig to hold his penis and testicles in place while he used a circular saw to cut them off. He then tossed the dismembered parts into the back of his pickup truck and drove 50 miles to a hospital in Alabama for medical care. For days, Grice insisted that he had been attacked by strangers, but finally admitted that he had done the deed himself. His wife, three stepchildren and a nephew slept through the incident. (Reuters) ...And presto! No more unsightly bulge!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 19:59:03 GMT -5
Maybe this somehow explains all the charges of extramarital affairs and sexual harassment. “Meeting him, shaking his hand — it was overwhelming. It was better than sex. Of course, I haven’t had sex before, but I’m sure this was better,” said Tyler Peterson, a high school student and Boys Nation delegate, after meeting President Clinton last year. Then Judith Krantz, author of Scruples and other fine American books, recently said “Shaking hands with Bill Clinton is, in and of itself, a full-body sexual experience, I promise you. He has the sexiest handshake of any man that I have ever experienced in my life.” (Quotes from Newsweek) ...I feel sorry for the kid, but Judy should know better by now!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 20:01:49 GMT -5
A woman in Devizes, southern England, was awakened in the early morning hours by a telephone call. Hearing moaning, she thought it was an obscene call and hung up. When the phone rang again, bringing similar noises, she was about to hang up again until she recognized her daughter’s voice, yelling “Oh my God!” and followed by a man’s voice. Sure her daughter was being attacked at her home, mom called police, who sped to the scene to find the daughter quite willingly being ...uh... friendly with the man in her bedroom. In the throes of passion, the couple apparently accidentally pressed the “redial” button on the phone with their toes, connecting the boudoir to mom. “This is a warning for other people — if you’re going to indulge in this sort of thing, move the phone,” a police spokesman said. (Reuters) ...Or at least put my number on your autodialer.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 20:03:09 GMT -5
New York City police officer Carol Shaya posed nude for Playboy magazine, and is now facing department disciplinary charges. Because she posed nude? Not exactly: police spokesman John Miller said she might be charged with failing to file a proper “off-duty work” form, wearing her uniform in some of the photos, and using the department’s name for personal gain. The work form Shaya submitted stated the work was for sportswear modeling. It is reported that Shaya earned $75,000 for her layout. (AP) ...I’m sure the definition of “sport” is loose enough that she can beat the rap.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 20:12:10 GMT -5
Christopher Lyons, a drug dealer serving time in prison, filed a $310,000 lawsuit against the Kellogg Co., claiming that a “defective” Pop Tart injured his mouth and caused him nightmares, which lead to 72 hours of sleep deprivation. U.S. District Judge Benjamin Gibson dismissed the suit, saying there was no proof of suffering worth at least $50,000, the minimum for a federal lawsuit — partly, the judge noted, because Lyons had lost no wages and incurred no medical expenses. (AP) ...But your honor: I easily earned $50,000 in 72 hours on the outside!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 20:14:37 GMT -5
A university professor in Bologna, Italy, writing a paper on the sociology of love, checked his local library for books on kissing. Finding none in Italian, the library arranged for the interlibrary loan of four scholarly books on the subject — from Yorkshire, England. When the Yorkshire librarian called the Italian librarian to ask why the reputedly great-loving Italians didn’t have any academic books on such a basic topic, they retorted “Because we are far too busy doing it to write about it.” (Reuters) ...But the professor seems to have plenty of time to write.
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