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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:20:41 GMT -5
Dennis Wadsworth was driving through London when his truck ran out of fuel, so he parked and went for more. Police, finding the vehicle, issued a security alert: he had left it in front of 10 Downing Street, the Prime Minister’s official residence. Wadsworth returned 90 minutes later to find the truck a heap of smoking rubble — police had blown it up as a precaution. “Against the background of IRA atrocities ...we had no option,” a police spokesman said. (Reuters) ...Oh, just a minute: here are your keys.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:25:05 GMT -5
Mark Bridger, 35, was found guilty in a British court of causing criminal damage to a piece of “art”: a dead sheep in a glass tank filled with formaldehyde. He had poured a bottle of black ink into the tank and plastered a sign on the front reading “Black Sheep”. Rather than start over with a fresh white sheep, the “artist” of the work spent $1500 to clean the ink stained one to rehabilitate the “artwork,” which he valued at $38,570. Bridger was released without being sentenced to a fine or jail. (Reuters) ...Cleaning the sheep probably decreased its value — at least, I don’t want it anymore!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:29:05 GMT -5
The government of Chile has apologized to three of its neighbors for a painting done by an artist who received a grant from Chile’s Education Ministry. Meanwhile, Chile’s foreign minister called several Venezuelans “pea brains” after they burned a Chilean flag in protest. The painting depicts the 19th century Latin American war hero Simon Bolivar as a partially nude transvestite, complete with large breasts, lacy stockings, and an upraised middle finger. The grant was part of a program to promote Chilean culture. (Reuters) ...So what’s the problem? It brought attention to Chilean culture, didn’t it?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:31:10 GMT -5
When William H. Irvin III received a government check for $836,939.19 in June, 1992, he considered it a gift from God since he had recently prayed for self-sufficiency. A federal court jury in Kansas City, Mo., was unmoved: it was a computer error, they said, not God, which boosted his $183.69 check to the higher amount. Convicted of knowingly spending government money, filing a false tax return and money laundering, he faces 43 years in prison and a $1.25 million fine. (AP) ...Then his prayers have been answered: he won’t have to buy food or shelter for 40 years.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:33:36 GMT -5
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has finally approved the “female condom,” which has been available in other countries for a number of years, but only if it comes with several pages of instructions with 11 diagrams showing proper use. But what to call them to attract American women? “We looked at names like Behold, Within, Beyond — pretty words and pretty packages with roses or young couples in the sunlight,” said company spokeswoman Mary Ann Leeper. Keeping modern diseases in mind, they finally decided to take a serious approach: “Reality” comes packaged in a plain white box. (AP) ...It’ll never sell: Americans can’t face reality.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:35:42 GMT -5
Twenty two pregnant cows worth more than $2,000,000 were electrocuted in a freak accident in England when lightning struck a metal pen they were housed in. “I have heard of odd cows being struck by lightning, but never this many in one go before,” said chief herdsman Les Timbrell. (Reuters) ...How do you think beef jerky was invented
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:37:27 GMT -5
In an organized campaign dubbed “Knicker Aid”, British women are donating their pre-diet undergarments when they lose weight to women in Russia, where a “decent bra” can cost a month’s wages. June Macfarlane, of Darlington, England, a co-founder of the plan, hopes the large sized garments will suit Russians thanks to their “starchy diets”. (Reuters) ...These days, that might violate laws against the transfer of advanced technology.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:40:14 GMT -5
A woman who noticed that her breasts made strange sounds whenever she was at high altitudes finally checked into a hospital to find out why. An x-ray at a high-altitude clinic in Frisco, Colo. (altitude 9,300 feet), showed her saline breast implants had air bubbles in them, causing a “swishing sound” when at high altitudes, where the outside air pressure is lower. (Reuters) ...If you think that’s interesting, you should hear her husband’s penile implant!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:43:59 GMT -5
When an insecticide maker ran a contest looking for the most roach-infested house in the country, Rosemary Mitchell of Tulsa, Okla., really wanted to win — and she did. The prize: a house call from a roach expert, who estimated her one-story house harbored between 60,000 and 100,000 roaches. (AP) ...Nice house, but what’s that crunching sound when I walk?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:45:52 GMT -5
A circus elephant went berserk during a performance and crushed a trainer to death before breaking through a fence and running wild through the streets of Honolulu, Hawaii. Two police officers stopped the rampage with multiple shots from their service handguns as the 9,000 pounder attacked another man. In a show of sympathy not for the hapless trainer but for the elephant, a local animal rights organization put flowers on the street where it was shot. “This majestic animal ...fought for its freedom and it died for it,” said the president of the group. (AP) ...Lawsuits claiming emotional distress and “irrational fear of six foot trunks” shouldn’t be far behind.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:47:25 GMT -5
Two 12-year-old boys from Tampa, Fla., charged as adults with raping a 9-year-old boy at gunpoint, should start classes at the local junior high school while awaiting trial, the judge in the case said. The assistant state attorney had no objection. “As long as they’re well supervised, they need to be in school,” he said. (AP) ...I’m sure some of the older boys will be happy to take care of them.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:51:19 GMT -5
Alfred Peters of Westfield, Mass., was out for a parachute jump last year. As he was free falling, he hit a private plane, knocking it out of the sky; the crash killed all four people aboard. Peters, who landed safely, has now filed suit against the air traffic controllers at a nearby airport, blaming them for not passing on warnings that he was in the area. (Reuters) ...And people think I exaggerate about the lawsuits I report on.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:54:53 GMT -5
Singer John Denver faces a year in jail on a charge of drunk driving. This second offense — he was convicted of the same charge less than a year ago — came to light when he crashed his car into a tree. Denver’s publicist, however, said he didn’t think Denver was drunk: “John is not the kind of person who regularly empties a fifth of scotch.” (AP) ...Not regularly, just once in a while, I guess he means.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:56:33 GMT -5
In June, Richard Nieves, 21, called Aurora, Ill., police and reported that he had witnessed a child’s kidnaping. “People say you can speak with your eyes, and hers seemed to be saying, ‘Help me. Get me out of here. Do something for me’,” Nieves said at the time. A massive police hunt turned up nothing, and after flunking a lie detector test, Nieves admitted making the story up. He was sentenced last week to two years’ probation and 500 hours of community service. Why did he do it? He needed an excuse for taking a day off work as a machine operator. (AP) ...What, “I have bubonic plague” stopped working?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 22:58:40 GMT -5
Marla Bennetts, a technical writer in San Jose, Calif., took a day off work to see President Clinton when he visited nearby Sunnyvale. She typed an excuse note for him to sign to take to her boss. “He did, but he laughed first,” she said. (Humboldt State University JournAlum magazine) ...Did he fix any typos?
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