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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:15:26 GMT -5
Prostitutes in Central Falls, R.I., were so incensed at a rival gang of hookers imported from Massachusetts that they called the police on them. After the two imports were arrested, the local ladies led the cops to their pimp, who was also arrested. “They’ll rat each other out in a second. Drug dealers and prostitutes. It’s unbelievable,” said the local police chief. (AP) ...These small towns are sure protective of their local businesses.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:16:44 GMT -5
Antony Hicks, 23, of Turo, England, likes the rock group “Level 42". A lot. So he changed his name to reflect the names of all of the band’s records and original members. Hicks, now legally known as “Ant Level Forty Two The Pursuit Of Accidents The Early Tapes Standing In The Light True Colours A Physical Presence World Machine Running in the Family Running In The Family Platinum Edition Staring At The Sun Level Best Guaranteed The Remixes Forever Now Influences Changes Mark King Mike Lindup Phil Gould Boon Gould Wally Badarou Lindup-Badarou,” only told his wife of the change after it was recorded in court. (Reuters) ...Yes, very well. And your last name, sir?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:17:55 GMT -5
Alexander Perez, 19, of Maracaibo, Venezuela, got an urgent call from nature. Seeking privacy in a nearby animal’s cage, he had his pants down to his knees when the occupant of the pen, a lion, took offense at his presence and attacked him. Perez struggled both to live and to get his pants up; a friend helped by hitting the lion with a brick. (Reuters) ...And that brick came from ...where?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:19:17 GMT -5
Church of England vicar Anthony Freeman lost his license to preach Sunday for writing a book last year in which he questioned the literal existence of God and the Holy Trinity. He wrote, “There is nothing out there or if there is, we can have no knowledge of it,” but avowed “I have proclaimed I believe in God” to parishioners attending his last service on Sunday. He says he does not regret writing the book, which he considered an exploration of the different ways that God might exist, and says many other clergy share his views but are afraid to express them. (Reuters) ...License to preach? A dime-a-dozen in the colonies. C’mon over.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:20:26 GMT -5
Can’t get service people to help you? Consider Jane Fonda’s advice: “If you’re ever in a situation where you’re not getting served or you can’t get what you need, just cry,” she says. Fonda, 56, says she discovered the trick in Moscow, where an elevator operator wouldn’t help her until she “burst into tears,” and that it worked so well that she found success with it again when she later got poor service in a restaurant. (AP) ...Thanks, Jane, for furthering the cause of women all around the world.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:22:47 GMT -5
So many tourists visiting Jerusalem become psychotic that soldiers on patrol watch for them, and a term — Jerusalem Syndrome — has been coined to refer to the problem. A 1991 study found that most commonly, the victims thought they were the Messiah (God was second, Satan third). Most of the delusional (80 percent) were Protestant; Catholics reported the most “mystical experiences”. In one case, two men who arrived at the same time claiming to be the Messiah were put in a room together; each insisted that the other was an imposter. While most had histories of previous mental problems, 20 percent had no prior recorded incidents. Of one German on a multi-country tour, the doctor who lead the study said “he was sane in Egypt, sane in Greece, meshugge in Israel.” (Washington Post) ...Oy: keep him out of the states. He’ll get a gun for sure.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:24:31 GMT -5
A couple having sex in the branches of a tree in a park near Windsor Castle in London got so caught up in the act that the woman lost her grasp and fell naked to the ground, breaking her leg. “The young couple had apparently gone to the Great Park for a bit of nookie,” a park spokesman said. “It was a very clear case of coitus interruptus.” (Reuters) ...And stay out of the bell tower!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:26:14 GMT -5
Frank Balun found that a rat which had been eating his garden plants had been caught in a squirrel trap, but was still alive. When it tried to escape, he killed it. Naturally, the Hillsdale, N.J., area Humane Society gave him two citations, charging him with “needlessly” killing the pest. The administrator of the local board of health praised Balun’s actions, and promises to support him if the case goes to court. The Humane Society said the rat should have been “humanely put to sleep by injection” or “set free in a nature environment” instead of being killed by Balun. (AP) ...Brooklyn, take note: guess what “nature environment for a rat” means in Jersey?
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:28:29 GMT -5
A renowned laboratory at Rockefeller University (N.Y.) has been the scene of mysterious chain of events: someone put chemicals in the coffee, set fires, and sent death threats to two female researchers. A police insider, who demanded anonymity, said the pranks took specialized knowledge, and therefore must be an inside job. “This is not the work of a janitor,” the insider said. “It’s the work of a mad scientist.” Less anonymous police sources think the culprit is another researcher jealous of the two women’s success. (AP) ...I thought mad scientists merely tried to rule the world.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:29:56 GMT -5
In a story headlined “Crash Frees 28 Million Bees”, AP reported that “29 million bees” escaped after a truck accident during the morning rush hour in New York — meaning, we suppose, that they were still escaping at press time. Two beekeepers were called in for the roundup, but when they couldn’t clear the roadway quickly enough, state police brought in insecticide. (AP) ...Unit 12 here; send lots of bread and peanut butter, Code 3!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:31:38 GMT -5
In a story headlined “Crash Frees 28 Million Bees”, AP reported that “29 million bees” escaped after a truck accident during the morning rush hour in New York — meaning, we suppose, that they were still escaping at press time. Two beekeepers were called in for the roundup, but when they couldn’t clear the roadway quickly enough, state police brought in insecticide. (AP) ...Unit 12 here; send lots of bread and peanut butter, Code 3!
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:33:26 GMT -5
Mark Callaghan, 35, of London was recently sentenced to 18 months in jail for mailing letters to a number of bishops and archbishops demanding payment of $845,000, else he would file false charges of sex abuse against Roman Catholic priests. Callaghan said “I would not call it blackmail,” but rather it was “an exercise in imagination and pretense.” He was arrested when he went to the bank to see if any deposits had been made there, as instructed in the letters. (Reuters) ...It’s not jail. Just imagine it’s the pretend Hilton.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:39:51 GMT -5
By the time American students reach the eighth grade, Education Secretary Richard Riley says they should be able to “improvise a simple harmonic accompaniment to a musical melody,” adding such a requirement shouldn’t be too much “for a great nation.” Riley said that in his own life, his first political success came in about the fifth grade, was when he was elected president of a children’s music club. (AP) ...I’d settle for eighth graders who could read, write and reason — and not think being elected club president is a “political success”.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:41:23 GMT -5
Police in Treviso, Italy, were investigating drug traffic in the area when they got tips that the best place to score coke in town was the local rectory. Apparently, Fanurio Lino Vivan, 36, the local Polish Orthodox priest, sold cocaine during parties held there. He was arrested after a search turned up a small quantity of the drug. (Reuters) ...The higher you get, the closer you are to the Lord.
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Post by The Watcher on May 16, 2005 21:42:55 GMT -5
When Sao Paulo, Brazil, police detectives arrested Robson Augusto do Nascimiento Araujo after a string of high priced car thefts, they found his calling card — literally: he carried business cards showing the business name “Thefts and Holdups Ltd,” with his title reading “thief”. (Reuters) ...Eh. He probably stole them.
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